Deadspins’ Jon Gugala Is Still Going After Those Four Boston Marathon Bandits Who Raised Money For Charity


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Deadspin’s Jon Gugala is STILL writing stories about the four bandits from the Boston Marathon, and he simply will not rest until we’ve nailed these four war criminals to crosses and drank their blood:

Canadian Running Magazine reports on the trend of the last few years: finisher’s medals from Boston begin popping up for auction in the days following the race, one from last year fetching $600. This one from the 2014 race has already reached $370 and climbing.

Selling your personal property is right and good—provided you paid for your medal through your registration fee. It’s a bigger problem if you stole someone’s bib off Instagram, photocopied it, and passed it to your shithead friends.

As a commenter on his most recent blog wrote, this should probably have been entitled: How Jon Continues to Substantiate His Manufactured Outrage by Identifying a Market Value for Finisher’s Medals, Thereby “Proving” These Runners “Stole””

The other day he did a follow up when he discovered that the four runners were actually nice people who were raising money for charity:

While most college seniors are putting the finishing touches on final projects, Boston College’s Joe McConaughy started a charity. That charity is now involved with forging Boston Marathon bibs.

McConaughy, in his final semester at BC, is an Eagle cross country and track and field athlete who started a charity called Run For Colin, which raises money for Neuroblastoma research.

Instert foot in mouth here. Gotta love how he mentions the crime of “forging” Boston Marathon runners bibs before mentioning the fact that they’re raising money for Neuroblastoma research. Because he’s a really good writer and wants to focus on the important issues.

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Did I mention he has 1,700 Twitter followers? Sure, UMass super fan Brian Long has more than that and he doesn’t work for one of the highest trafficked websites in the world, but I’m sure that has nothing to do with the fact that Jon’s writing sucks. Obviously people aren’t smart or witty enough to understand what a NATIONAL SECURITY THREAT these four criminal masterminds are!!

Look, I CAN’T BELIEVE that this would be such a contentious issue. My blogs on this topic have gotten pretty insane traffic from all over the place. Apparently the topic of marathon banditting was something that people have been wanting to argue about for years and they’ve been waiting for a moment like this to unleash their furor. The comments alone at this point are better than the blog itself.

I’d say on most comments sections it’s at least 2/3 pro-bandit. Because after all, if you think what these four people did with this was wrong you’re out of your mind. It takes a special kind of dingleberry to feign outrage about this one. Just a reminder that Jon Gugala has been fired from several writing jobs because he is a loose canon that tweets embarrassing and sexist tweets during marathons.

Of course this whole thing started because some Blue Devil smokeshow naed Kara Bonneau, a carpetbagger from North Carolina reported the runners instead of just detagging them in her pictures. Because for the record she was not affected by this AT ALL. She ran the race. She received the services she paid for along the way. She got a medal. That’s what everyone gets. The only difference is some of her pictures from the race weren’t actually her. #firstworldproblems

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Seriously though, does this woman know how dumb she looks? Ask women in Saudi Arabia what they would do for these type of problems. Kara Bonneau is just so Duke it hurts. An entitled southern belle who came up North and found out that the Boston Marathon belongs to the people of Boston, and part of that is the great tradition of banditry.

Well someone else has decided to write an entire column dedicated to me. The guy claimed he posted on my blog but I didn’t approve him. Wrong. He actually left the longest comment in the history of TurtleBoy Sports which I’m sure you all read a sentence of before deciding there was no way your wife was gonna let you stay on the dumper for that long. He used the user name AVW.

I’m pretty sure his name is Alex, and he ran Boston in 2:32. That’s pretty nasty right there. But the problem is he’s a carpetbagger lecturing people like me about what Boston is all about. THAT is what drives me nuts about these people. The ones who are most angered are the people that are mad that people who aren’t as good as them got to share the stage with them. They’re not outraged that they didn’t pay, because it has no effect on them. They’re not outraged that they used services, because the services didn’t run out. They’re mad because Boston is supposed to be for guys who can run under 3:05 in the marathon, not peons who can only do it in 4 fours.

Newsflash to people like this – I don’t give a shit what you think. Me and all my bandit friends are running next year too, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Good luck sleeping tonight.

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Let me break down some of the more idiotic arguments I’ve read in various places about banditting:

So, since no one was inconvenienced, it’s not cheating? Saying you did something that you didn’t is lying. Saying you competed in an event when you didn’t is cheating.

This guy sounds like tons of fun huh? Seriously, what a loser this stooge is. First of all, the bandits DID run the marathon. Period. Whether or not their name appeared on a sheet of paper is irrelevant. That’s what it comes down to with these people. It’s all about getting your name on a piece of paper. They want people to know that Boston is an exclusive club, and these people aren’t allowed in it unless they follow the rules!!! These people are like the annoying girl in your Math class who reminds the teacher she didn’t collect the homework. For the last time, it’s not cheating if they didn’t TAKE AWAY something from another competitor. 

The bandit on the far right was photographed with a unicorn medal around his neck. He didn’t earn the right to race for it, and thus taking the medal at the end of the race was not just cheating, it was stealing. If he just ran, didn’t take race supplies, stayed out of the way of paying runners and didn’t take a medal at the end, then I might be o.k. with his bandit behavior. But he took advantage of things that were meant for people who earned it.

Every single person who was registered to run in the marathon got a medal and unlimited supplies along the way. Therefore nothing was taken away from them by the bandits. These people are so fucking impressed by these medals it’s semi-demonic. Where do they put them? Do they wear them to work or do they hang them next to their 26.2 bumper stickers? We’re really proud of you guys and your 50 cent piece of metal. Newsflash – when you cross the finish line they just give you a medal because they don’t give a shit. They’re not actually prestigious things that matter. They don’t come with individualized names on them. They are mass produced pieces of cheap metal on cheaper laniards manufactured by an 8 year old Indonesian boy. The fact that they took medals means less than nothing.

You seriously don’t comprehend how 36,000 runners going down the same streets at the same time might present a few security problems?

No, I seriously don’t. Mainly because I’m not a fucking idiot like you. I don’t see the threat that 4 people in short shorts out of 36,000 had on security at all. Perhaps they stuck an atomic bomb up their ass and ran with it for 26.2 miles? Then they just forgot to detonate the bastard when the time came. Must’ve malfunctioned. Newsflash – the Boston Marathon was blown up by 2 spectators last year. Last I checked spectators were still allowed to be there on Monday. So yea, dumb, dumb, dumb on your part. 

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Dude these aren’t young kids pulling some prank. These are grown men and women committing fraud to get around requirements, rules and payment. They are thieves who relied on forgery to do an event they didn’t have permission to do. That’s pretty fucking low and embarrassed. I would not employ anyone like that. Their collective mentality is something like “what’s the big deal if I pay for my friend’s flight on the company’s Amex…it’s a hundred million dollar company and the ticket is only $300.” Just awful unethical and narcissistic people displaying their low character. Employers beware.

Well it could be worse…I could work with this idiot. This guy sounds like the Dwight Shrute of organized running. Just sitting there with a watch counting how many seconds a day you are not being productive. 

The bottom line is this people – it’s four college kids that ran on a public road for 26.2 miles. Quite frankly, that sounds like a really shitty day to most people. The faces they’re making in the pictures confirms that. No one got hurt. Everyone got what they came for, and the marathon was a great success. Accept it and move on with your life.

My question is, what will Jon Gugala write about next? I heard some kid jumped over the turnstile on the Green line the other day!! I also heard another 20 something downloaded a song illegally on the internet!!! Or did you hear about those beer guys at Gillette Stadium who sat down and watched the second half after they were done selling beer? But they didn’t even have tickets to the game!!! Sure, the seats they sat in were vacant, but that doesn’t matter. It’s stealing!!! Man, those guys need to be EXPOSED by Jon Gugala. Let’s get a posse rounded up and crucify them like we did in the good ol days.

Keep up the good work Jon Boy. I’m not gonna hate on you, because you’re doing it for the page views. Keep milking this one until people get sick of it. It’s too bad for you there was no bombing this year, because it gave you the opportunity to fabricate a crisis out of your rear end.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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3 thoughts on “Deadspins’ Jon Gugala Is Still Going After Those Four Boston Marathon Bandits Who Raised Money For Charity

  1. Out of random curiosity today, I decided to see if they ever identified the Boston bandits when I came across your blog. It made me smile. I know the identity of one of the bandits, but I would never tell because too many people are f’d up turd nuggets who would harass and ruin their life just because they ran when they weren’t supposed to. I’m glad most of their names never got out. I can’t believe that people think this is such a bad crime when worse things are happening and they don’t get even 1/1000 outraged over actual criminals.

    This is going to be kind of long. I hope that’s okay.
    The runner I know of is pretty kick ass. I wish I was as good as them. They were as good or better than most of the other runners at Boston. I’ve seen that person train. They work hard. They didn’t take anyone’s glory away.

    Having said that, I’ll say I can understand getting angry because someone stole your number. I would be angry too if I worked hard and paid for a race only to find out I didn’t get a t-shirt, medal, or even pictures that I wanted because someone else lied. I’d be pissed if they messed up my time too. However, most races order an access of medals and shirts to be safe. What do they do with the medals they don’t hand out? They have years engraved on them so it’s not like they can be reused the next year. What’s the problem with letting bandits have them? Same thing with other swag. It’s going to sit there or get thrown out/given away anyway. The bandits weren’t wearing chips so they didn’t mess up anyone’s time. The participant had some official photos of herself to commemorate the day so they didn’t rob her of that either. I have a hard time mustering any anger over what they did because in the end they didn’t actually take anything from anyone.
    Here’s something I don’t get, has she never raced before?! If not, how did she qualify? In almost every race I do with official photographers, my personal set is filled with pics I’m not in because they were taken around the time I was in that vicinity. I pay no attention to them. So I guess I’m wondering how she was so shocked to see other people’s faces in her set that she began scrutinizing them.

    Another thing, the mindset some of these people have despite being adults is laughable.
    Every step of the way after I would complete a race of a new distance, I would sometimes get annoyed when random people would start running and have to do the distance I just did. I worked hard, dammit! I overcame all those hurdles and attained one of my biggest goals in life.Them doing it diminished what I did because now it looks like just anyone can do it. Then I realized how stupid and immature that thinking was. I had inspired most of them to run and they worked just as hard as I did – some worked even harder than I did, some not as hard – to do it. So how on earth did it diminish what I did? It didn’t! It was me being stupidly immature because I wanted to feel special. How ridiculous of me! The need to feel special is pathetic. Most of these people need to grow up.

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  2. I think we need to start a Turtleboy Wiki where we can all confess our sins to Jon Gugala. I will go first.

    Dear Jon Gugala,

    Yesterday when I was in the local Stop & Shop I ate 4 grapes while I was browsing the produce section and did not pay for them. Later that day, I tore one of those Do Not Remove tags off of a mattress, and I was not the person who purchased it. Lastly, on Patriots Day I managed to sneak Sully and Murph from JP into the FW Webb Family Dump Center… the damage they inflicted will last a lifetime. I await the wise words of Jon Gugala on the matter of what my penance should be.

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  3. If Boston is so prestigious how come they allow tools to run in Mini and Mickey Mouse costumes if they raise $5K? I can’t tell you how many times that I’ve watched the marathon and would see these bafoons wearing costumes dressed facepalm worthy with bibs that probably didn’t make it past the mile 5 marker.

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