One New York Yankees fan hopes that suing for snoozing will work out in his favor.
Andrew Rector, 26, was caught taking a serious nap during an April 13 “Sunday Night Baseball” game against the Boston Red Sox at Yankee Stadium. The ESPN cameras didn’t let him get away with it, either, shining the spotlight on Rector, who was slumped in his seat during the fourth inning of the close game.
Now, Rector has filed a defamation suit, claiming he was called “fatty, unintelligent and stupid” by commentators. He is suing Major League Baseball Advanced Media, ESPN New York, the New York Yankees and ESPN announcers Dan Shulman and John Kruk in Bronx County Supreme Court, seeking $10 million in damages for defamation and intentional infliction of emotional distress, Courthouse News reported.
The lawsuit alleges that Rector endured an “unending verbal crusade against the napping plaintiff” from the ESPN announcers as they “unleashed avalanche of disparaging words against the person of and concerning the plaintiff.”
Rector is suing MLB for posting video of the incident on MLB.com and subjecting him to harsh comments from viewers. Rector claims his reputation was damaged by Internet comments that portrayed him as “a fatty cow that need two seats at all time,” “a confused disgusted and socially bankrupt individual” and “a confused individual that neither understands nor knows anything about history and the meaning of rivalry between Red Sox and New York Yankee.”
Is that C.C. Sabathia sitting next to sleeping beauty? He appears to be licking his fingers, most likely because it’s covered in powdered sugar from the fried dough. I believe this is what the Yankees call “rehab.”
In this guy’s defense this game was probably held on “Dress like your favorite all time Yankee” night, and he was being Don Zimmer. What? Too soon? Fine, he was being Thurman Munson then.
Look, I feel this guy’s pain. Baseball can be brutal to sit through, particularly games involving the Red Sox and Yankees. You pound 12-15 Keystone Lights in that little league field next to Yankees Stadium, get all fired up for some baseball, and the next thing you know you’re watching Derek Jeter step out of the batter’s box right before the next pitch is delivered. Exciting stuff. And if they ever put the camera on David Wells during an off day they would likely see the same exact picture.
You think this was the only dooshnozzle that was passed out during this game? Of course not. He’s just the most hilarious on account of he’s a fat bastard and he’s drooling on himself. It’s too funny NOT to put on TV really. I sooo want this to go to court. If this guy can’t make it through a baseball game how is he gonna hold up in court? Watching John Kruk getting called to the witness stand to recreate this fat bastard drooling on himself would be a million times more entertaining then any Red Sox-Yankees game you will ever see.
In all seriousness though, this guy represents everything that is wrong with both America and Yankees fan. When this fat waste of space is awake he’s probably reminding everyone of the “27 rings bro!!” As if his fat ass had anything to do with it. Because if you look at this guy, how can you not think “dooshnozzle?”
He is what people in the rest of the world think of when they think of America. He’s fat. He drinks too much. He smells (probably). And instead of holding himself accountable for falling asleep at a Red Sox-Yankees game he goes and hires a lawyer to sue MLB for doing nothing but putting him on camera? What the fuck did John Kruk do wrong? He said that ballgame is “not the place you come to sleep.” God forbid. What exactly was he supposed to say? “That fat bastard is asleep but it’s not his fault. Baseball is obviously too boring.”?
And newsflash – John Kruk didn’t portray you as “a fatty cow that need two seats at all time.” Your lawyer did fat boy. Because that’s what you looked like. You’re a fat guy who apparently is at the baseball game by himself, passed out after stuffing your face with nachos and $11 Bud Light’s.
Look, I can’t stand people who don’t understand how the fucking internet works. It’s really simple. Once you’re on there you lose all rights to complain when people say mean shit about you. Because that’s what happens on the internet. I’d say 98% of the internet is people saying mean things about other people. That’s why it exists. You know how many times I’ve heard, “Hey Turtleboy, are you violating that magical turtle? Turtle fucker!!” You don’t see me suing anyone.
Or how about when every time we put the stupid things people say on Facebook or Twitter on this blog? Waaaaa, waaaa, waaaaaaa. That’s all I hear. “Turtleboy is bullying these people for the stupid things they put on the internet.” It’s the fucking internet. It no longer belongs to you once you’re on there.
When you go to a baseball game, fall asleep and drool on yourself, there’s a good chance you’re going to end up on the internet. MLB and John Kruk weren’t making fun of you. Everyone else was. Don’t want to be an internet meme? Don’t go to Sunday Night Baseball games if you can’t stay awake passed the fourth inning.
Someone needs to tell this guy that the case of Costanza vs. U.S. Open settled this issue a long time ago:
So I understand why the lawyer is taking the case. Lawyers want your money. But the only lawyer who actually thinks they can win a case like this one is this guy:
Better call Saul? Even he would tell you that he’ll take your money but there’s no way he can possibly win this case.
Oh yea, and is his lawyer really a lawyer? Because based on what he wrote in this complaint he’s never passed the bar in any state he’s ever stepped in. As a matter of fact he’s never passed by any bar he’s ever seen. Like check this out from the complaint:
OK, sign number one that this lawsuit is going nowhere – this guy’s lawyer is illiterate. Sign number two is that the lawyer, Valentine Okwara, doesn’t have a website. Looked all over for this guy on the internet and could only find one Linkedin account. It appears as if he may or may not be a Nigerian lawyer operating in New York. If so, this lawsuit is right up his alley. Basically he’s taking this fat bastard’s money and filing poorly worded lawsuits like this.
I mean, “The rivalry game between the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankee is always the biggest in all of sport”? That’s an actual phrase from a real complaint written by a real lawyer.
He wasn’t done:
I can’t help but respect this guy’s complete disregard for all things punctuation, spelling, and grammar. You think just because he’s a lawyer he puts periods at the end of his sentences or puts a space between the numbers and the the first word of the sentences? Nope. Zero fucks given by Valentine Okwara. “Nothing triggered all these assertions only that the plaintiff briefly slept off while watching the great game something or circumstance any one can easily found them self.” Huh? Wait…..what? A person who graduated from law school wrote that sentence. Phenomenal.
I’m not gonna pretend that Turtleboy Sports isn’t riddled with spelling and grammatical errors. But I’m also a 13 year old boy on a Turtle. I never even passed 8th grade. This guy went to law school, so we can hold him to a slightly higher standard. Then he threw this one in there at the end.
M L B. Com? So let me get this straight. At the end of this complaint he decided to throw in the complaint that MLB is implying that the fat bastard is also homosexual? Is that what this is saying? Because that sounds like an allegation that’s definitely gonna go somewhere in court.
Look, I’m gonna come out and say it right now. I believe this ENTIRE THING is fake. It’s all a hoax. Why can’t I find the lawyer online? Shouldn’t he be in a database somewhere? It’s fucking 2014 people!! I should be able to find anything I want to about anyone with the click of a mouse. If you’re a real lawyer then links should come up with previous cases, and at the very least your name should come up for the law firm you work for.
But it’s not. Because it’s a fake lawyer. So when this whole thing turns out to be a hoax tomorrow remember you heard it hear first – Turtleboy Sports.
Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.