Woman On Facebook Really Hates Super Chinese Buffet In Worcester, Writes Magnificent Comments On Facebook


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So i subscribe to this page on Facebook called “Your probably from Worcester, MA if……”. And no, I didn’t spell “your” wrong. That’s the name of the actual page. That name alone is so Worcester it hurts.

Anyway the page is mostly old people who wanna reminisce about their favorite teachers from Commerce High School or Fanning Girls Trade. Basically conversations like this:

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I’ve got all these people beat. I’ve been riding the turtle downtown since before Commerce High School even existed. But today I read one of the most epic posts I’ve ever seen. Check out this beaut:

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Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Where do I start with this one? First of all, who goes to an all you can eat Chinese buffet and expects anything except for stray cat? I’ve been to the Super Chinese Buffet and the former Tin Tin Buffet many a time. Not once did I ever go in there with the expectation that I was eating anything that could pass inspection by the board of health. I ate it because I gave zero fucks about anything and wanted to stuff my face. And it was delicious. I wanted my wedding to be an all you can eat Chinese buffet, but unfortunately that was shot down by Mrs. Turtleboy. If I ever attend a wedding that has one of these it will be the most epic wedding ever.

Secondly, this lady apparently went to this place strictly for the crab legs, which were NOT replenished. Who goes to a buffet for one type of food only? Hey lady, you can order that from pretty much any Chinese restaurant you want for take out. The purpose of an all you can eat Chinese buffet is to stuff your face with General Gao, crab raccoon, and soft serve ice cream. Easy with your fancy crab legs there. This is Webster fucking Square in Worcester. This is where Margee Pesikov ate right before she made her “Ten Things I Hate About Worcester Video.” It obviously caused her to take an earth shattering smash and she decided she had enough with this city.

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Then there was this sentence: “WELL NO WATER CHANGE AND COLD CRAB AGAIN ASKED THEY EGNORED ME AND FREIND”

The all caps was certainly a nice touch, but I still have absolutely no idea what this means. Did she mean to say “waiter?” And I can understand misspelling “friend” but how the fuck do you not know how to spell “ignored?”

I can just picture how this scene went down. This lady walks into the Super Chinese Buffet looking for some crab legs at 3 PM on a Tuesday, with her boisterous girlfriend:

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She’s loudly complaining about the lack of warm crab legs, while the workers (and by workers I mean the 10 year old girl who is in charge because she’s the only one in the family who speaks English and is trying to do her homework) sit there listening to her demean them. This lady assumes they don’t speak English so she shits all over them. They hear every word she says and then decide to play the “no speakee” card. Can’t say I blame them.

There is something beautifully ironic though about a grown ass woman who writes on a first grade level, openly complaining that someone else hasn’t managed to grasp the language yet. And can you believe they don’t speak Spanish either? I mean, what the fuck? Who doesn’t speak Spanish? Her attitude is basically a direct result of the “press one for English” shit that happens every time you make a phone call. I’m not gonna get into that in this blog though. We’ll save that rant for another time.

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I love how strong this lady closes out the statement too. “Emperial (buffet) in route 9 is better.” Because although Michelle Derez obviously struggles with basic english, she does have an entimate knowledge of the all you can eat Chinese buffet scene. And I don’t know what this lady has against the letter “i” but she seems to avoid it like the plague.

She wasn’t done though. The thread for some reason has elicited over 120 comments, most of which seem to be taking her seriously. She had this to say next:

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Clearly she is not over the imitation crab legs. And a woman who hasn’t gotten her crab legs is a dangerous, dangerous woman.

Luckily she wasn’t done either:

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I’ve read that post several times, and I still have absolutely no fucking clue what she is trying to say. And I’m really trying over here. So was there crab leg or not lady? First you said it wasn’t there and they ignored your inquiries about said crab legs. Then you said they were cold. Now you’re saying they “suck suck in water crack the shell?” I don’t know what that means but it sounds like you ended up eating crab legs and then decided that you’ve had much better at the all you can eat Chinese buffet in Spencer. As for the ending there in which she mentioned stopping for cocktails, as usual, I have no clue whatsoever what the hell it is she is trying to communicate.

I guess she wants the cops to start “in forcing” the laws about crab legs:

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Someone needs to sit this poor woman down and explain the difference between the letters “i” and “e.” This is why Sesame Street is critical people. And just for the record, she is NOT into politics:

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Nope, strictly crab legs for this woman. Not imitation either. No time for politics. She could go to Sam’s club and boil water herself, but obviously she’s the world’s greatest tipper so she goes to a Chinese buffet.

Then she started getting really deep:

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OK…….Finally she left us with this gem:

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I’m not even kudding – this lady avoids the letter “i” like the plague. Just SAYING. Hope she finds the island she’s looking for, and more importantly, I hope that island doesn’t have imitation crab legs when she gets there. Well, unless it leads to more killer posts like this.

Feel free to share your thoughts to keep the conversation going.

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48 thoughts on “Woman On Facebook Really Hates Super Chinese Buffet In Worcester, Writes Magnificent Comments On Facebook

  1. Pingback: Here Are The Most Popular Worcester Blogs From Turtleboy Sports History | TurtleBoySports

  2. i have gone there 3 times i will not go there again i got sick two time i ate the food one time i had to go to the bath room as soon as i ate the food

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  3. OMG. This entire thread, and her actual replies. Just reading it I feel like Alice in Wonderland, having taken the wrong pill and fallen down a crazy wabbitt hole.

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  4. Pingback: Predictably Some Nudniks Aren’t Happy About the Super Chinese Buffet Blog | TurtleBoySports

  5. Bahahahaha wholly shit you are no better than her if you went through all that trouble to rant and cry about what she said or wrote get a fucking life lmao you need some dick in your life really bad like down your throat to shut you the fuck up hope you enjoyed wasting the time out of your life to write all that you dumb ass !!!!!! Bahahahaha stupid

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    • I’m kind of embarrassed for you for not picking up on the fact that this was intentionally done for satire. Sure, you could’ve just kept to yourself and no one would know you’re a moron. Luckily mr x is a solid anonymous name.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Are you sure Worcester isn’t in Indiana? Because I could write this exact same post, the only differences would be to replace the word “Worcester” with “Lafayette,” and to change the name of the Chinese buffet. To make it simple, we’ll just use the generic “Super Fortune Great Golden Dragon Wall.”

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  7. Lmfao I was a customer at the buffet that day… she was a HOT mess and she was not polite she had a attitude. why did she think they would give her special treatment? Like your paying $10.00

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    • Again KIDNEY CANCER I eat if I can LUCKY to be ALIVE and I stopped with a friend its not imitation crab … its seafood IT should be replenished for that reason only not sit there, I don’t touch anything else……. I thought it would be safe and only have afew etc. As far as I’m concerned THANK YOU THOUGH flattered YOU took the time to write about it, considering. …it’s the cruel negatives that bother ME, but I’m okay with critics …. again Mr TURTLE boy ..I’m 46 KIDNEY CANCER sucks ….. life’s hard ENOUGH and yes I have ability to use I’ s and E’s I wrote fast and serious, it’s not healthy, MY friend ate enjoyed it to… but again CANCER KICKED MY ASS WINNING and I KNOW how to boil water well aware of other places fine dinning agree sole proprietor should of could of….MY point was dangerous WHAT they are doing appalled BY behaviours of employee’s etc…. but your column is about SPORTS flattered just saying.. and I’m a LADY not a hot mess…just trying to survive…. again to each their OWN. ……proper English ALSO YOU misspelled ALSO and your a writer for a WHAT. ….I’ve read enough, of negative and God does not LIKE ugly…to each his own. … as far as my comments beliefs etc…..mine. ..and politics well religion and THAT your sooooo smart two things ALLOT of PEOPLE do NOT agree on…I know ME. .AGAIN. ……LUCKY to BE ALIVE flattered also BUT TURTLE BOY I’LL WALK BACK IN THERE WITH YOU, YOU EAT IT…ALL I’LL BUY YOUR LUNCH, DINNER ETC. ….JUST SAYING…GOD BLESS YOUR HEART …AND THE F BOMB USED BY BY YOU…LOL WHO ARE YOU….CURIOUS NOW. …PROUD TO BE A AMERICAN USA FREEDOM OF SPEECH…..

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      • Wabbitt3730 TURTLEBOY you like what was said, are YOU kidding ME, come on now, are YOU a parent Sereously would you allow that person to disrespect your wife, mother, daughter, etc….tell him to go ffff himself LETS TALK MR FACE TO FACE….. ARE YOU SCARED, BE A MAN AND MAN UP…….THAT WABBITT even about the Catholic comments…… you have no idea, wabbitt. MR TURTLEBOY. ..come on did YOU READ what HE said with a open logical MIND. …that is not, human, and his pussy cat pic.. OMG God will handle it in due TIME. …its HURTFUL. ..children should be protected. …that is cruel…

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        • Oh, holy crap woman. Please, go back to primary school and learn how to write sentences before you reply again. Once completed, feel free to see a psychologist for your ego issues – your level of self importance and self aggrandizement is bordering on narcissistic. After that, maybe, just maybe, I will give you and your opinion some kind of respect – but until then, you’re not more than wasted space, to me.

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        • Turtleboy is all for protecting children. But did you know that more children are kidnapped by their mothers than by pedophiles???

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        • For the record, I have a mother, two sisters, and numerous aunts and female cousins. And any of them would have said way worse shit about you than I did.

          Hehehe… it’s funny because she’s saying to read the Bible with a logical mind. Because, you know, if you read it with a logical mind you’d realize that it’s just fairy tales and bullshit.

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      • You sure it’s kidney cancer? Because something’s eating what few brain cells your make believe god supposedly gave you.

        To everyone else – am I crazy, or is this the exact same rambling nonsense as before, but with KIDNEY CANCER used in place of CRAB LEGS?

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  8. I saw that post and all I could think was that it’s so South High, it hurts.

    Check out her Facebook page for more gems, like this, under religious views.

    “Religious Views
    Catholic
    If you touch a child in any way sexual or rape a child ….GOD will not forgive you, the DEVIL will be there in the end . May you burn in HELL.. You are not going to be forgiven……………AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!!”

    Something tells me someone has an Uncle Bad Touch.

    Oh, and her favorite quotes…

    “TO SEE A WORLD IN A GRAIN OF SAND, AND HEAVEN IN A WILDFLOWER ,HOLD INFINITY IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND, AND ETERNITY IN AN HOUR…… A FRIEND IS ONE WHO OVER LOOKS YOUR BROKEN FENCE AND ADMIRES THE FLOWERS IN YOUR GARDEN…….. IT IS WHAT IT IS……. IF HEAVEN HAD A HEIGHT YOU WOULD BE THAT TALL……. IF EVERY TIME I THOUGHT OF YOU, I STOPPED AND PUT A ROCK IN MY POCKET, I WOULD HAVE YOU IN MY HEART AND THE WORLD IN MY POCKET…………”

    And in case you were wondering fellas – she’s divorced. Where does the line form to date this barely literate mamasita?

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      • I would think you were Ms. Derez, but you were able to string eight words together without using caps lock. And good job spelling them all correctly.

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    • I went to South High and can spell perfectly fine. Not ONE thing you said was interesting. Where did you go to school?? You are most likely a lame geek with no life living with your mother 🙂

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      • Millbury St. School until part way through fifth grade. Quinsigamond Elementary for the rest of fifth grade. City View for sixth grade (the first year the school was open). Sullivan Middle for seventh and eighth (first graduating class in the new building). High school at…

        Drum roll please…

        South High!

        That’s how I know it’s so South it hurts – because I went to that fucking wall-less zoo. As you’ll note – I can competently write the English language. But I saw enough of this shit during my time there to know that I was the exception to the rule.

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        • There is nothing wrong with you commenting about this woman’s review. There is something wrong with you insulting everyone that went to South High and you are also insulting the teachers that work there. I never encountered anyone at South High that spelled that bad. Don’t say anything online you wouldn’t say to anyone’s face. I know you don’t have the courage to go to South saying that to the students and teachers that are currently there??

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          • I feel sorry for the teachers at South. They get handed a bunch of half literate dumbasses from Main South, Quinsig Village, Vernon Hill, and Union Hill that were shoved through the grades because of “No Child Left Behind.” Shit’s a lost cause before those poor people ever get to them.

            I know someone who currently works there, who was told on the second day of school, “Yo miss – I forgot how to read over the summer.”

            Shit was bad when I went there, but it’s gotten a hell of a lot worse over the years.

            Like

      • Credit goes to the lunatic for actually putting that shit on her Facebook profile. Copy and paste did the rest. I just added commentary.

        Like

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